I relentlessly searched for people who could make me feel validated, important and pretty. Some of my closer followers might have guessed that I recently went through a break-up; particularly if they had read my post The Heart-Break Cure; a post that was very therapuetic for me to feel my emotions to then find healthy ways to fill the gap. The break-up was more-or-less mutual after all emotions were pushed aside, and so my recent hardship isn’t so much missing him anymore – although, I still think of him often – it is more that I didn’t realize how emotionally dependant I had become. My biggest lesson and most horrifying shock this last week is realizing how much I had leant on him emotionally…all the time. It was no wonder that the break-up had to happen. Energy drainers are not evil, they are just regular people who have lost themselves. Draining energy from other people comes from the simple fact that you have allowed your own energies to get so low that you need others to help you feel energized. Post-breakup: with a sudden gap in my being, I relentlessly searched for people who could make me feel validated, important and pretty. It is unfortunate that my energy draining ways were revealed to me by someone new in my life admitting that we couldn’t hang out anymore; I pushed at their personal boundaries and I made it all about me and how amazing I was. Any relationship - family, friends, partners and collegues – should be a two way street my friends. You are not evil, you have just lost yourself We are not evil, we have just lost sight of who we are. Why do we need other people to lean on? Because we don't believe in ourselves enough to be able to stand on our own two feet. Just because you might be an energy draining leech at this point of your life, does not make you a horrible person. I don’t think that I am a horrible person, I think what I put myself through was horrible. You are not good enough, you are not pretty enough, you are not smart enough, you are not thin enough, you are not strong enough...Enough with the ENOUGHS! Believe me when I say you ARE good enough, but you are the only person who can say this that needs to believe it. We are all just looking out for what is best for us. We only want to be happy and to feel safe and sometimes we aren't always aware of the best way to go about it. What are the signs you are an energy leechRecognizing and becoming aware of the signs that you are an energy drainer is a harsh slap in the face to say the least. The good side however, is that you can only move forward and once you understand why you feel so low; things can only get better. 1. Attention Seeking Do you vent about the same trauma’s constantly? Not to sound harsh, but do you sometimes get the feeling that you complain a lot?! You probably do then. I did, I felt that I could never get ahead and that life just wanted to suck me dry. I was constantly bringing up all of the bad things that happened in my day. What I have learnt recently is that people will still find me interesting without my sob story, in fact, people find me more interesting! 2. Needing constant reassurance or validation This can range from wanting to be constantly showered in compliments to looking for people to throw themselves at you so that you feel special and important. I didn’t feel special anymore, I didn’t feel like that special girl who had this mysterious man finally open up to someone. It was a harsh reality, that I could no longer allow him to feel safe when sharing with me. I relentlessly fished for this in strangers and collegues, that ability to let people come out of their emotional shells. My agenda was never in it for helping others though, I wasn’t looking to see into their souls, I was looking for importance and power within myself. 3. Creating lots of problems or drama in your life Everything and anything can be a problem if you want it to be so. The choice is completely up to you. Life is a matter of perspective; the doors swing open if you are open for change or they are closed if you are closed off to new opportunites. Look at it this way, life can be one big problem full of little problems trying to make your life a living hell or...life can be one massive opportunity to grow full of lots of little lessons that will help you become the best person you can be. Look for love within yourselfI was without a doubt in my mind, an energy draining leech. Sounds harsh, but sometimes the reality is harsher than we would like it to be. The point of all of these harsh realities is that if we choose to push through the dirty coal, you will given the chance to create a diamond. The choice is yours, keep living a half-life like voldermourt or choose to live a life that is completely empowered by you. If you can relate to any of these signs or you're just not feeling to happy with yourself lately, then the best thing you can do is look for love and validation from within yourself. The entire planet's population could tell you that you are an amazing and beautiful human being, but the only person who needs to believe it, is you.
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AuthorMy name is Brittney and my life pursuit has been that of self-improvement and growth. It took me a long time to realize that I don't really fit into societies model that you need to go to school, find a career, strive to be extremely succesful to then get married and have kids, ever acquiring material objects. There is nothing wrong with this model at all and for those who can embrace this with whole-hearted happiness, keep going with it. Archives
August 2017
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